Lawton is truly the land of opportunity -- for any age. If you don't know about Michael Conner, you need to tune in. Tune in to 107.3 FM on the radio, to be specific. Michael the Movie Critic, his on air name, offers opinions every Friday morning on the Nancy Mace show, usually around 8:40 a.m. He's been doing it for the past two years -- he's now nine-and-a-half years old.
Michael is the son of Jack and Elizabeth Conner, and the brother of April, or as he refers to his big sister -- Ape.
Michael is the only third-grader I know who has a regular job. I think it's also a safe bet that he'll be the only elementary school pupil returning this fall with his own theme song. It's a cute little 1950s-era jingle. But Michael thinks it's outdated and he's negotiating for a new theme song on this day at the Clear Channel-soon-to-be-GAP station. Nancy, Michael's producer and host of the morning drive-time show, likes the theme song and doesn't want to have to sing a new one.
"I want a new theme!" he says.
"No, and that's final!" she says.
"Yes. Please, please, pleeeease?"
He is nine-and-a-half remember. I'm not sure of Nancy's age, but she seems to speak his language. Nancy wins. Today.
Sometimes Michael phones in his reviews on Nancy's show.
"Like when school's going on," Michael said. But, whenever he can he comes to the downtown studio and puts on a headset.
Nancy manages to bring out Michael's keenest observations, such as in his recent review of "Evan Almighty." Michael pondered: why is it that whenever a guy puts on a new suit in a movie, birds fly over and "poop on his new suit." It happens all the time, he explained and "that's just wrong."
Michael and Nancy agree that his favorite movies and best reviews go to those with explosions, or as Michael said, "movies that blow things up."
Michael said his favorite subject at school is math. But Nancy explained that in his "four thumbs" reviews, a really good "blow things up" movie will have calculations that often add up to more than four thumbs, i.e. one thumb for no kissing, two thumbs for a funny story, two-and-a-half thumbs for a tank, etc.
"I'm a times guy," Michael said about his preference for multiplication rather than addition.
Earlier this year, Michael reviewed the R-rated box office hit "300."
"Bloody, lots of blood," he said. But, the story spurred him to research the historic Battle of Thermopylae and he memorized the names of all the Spartan and Persian kings and numbers and details of the ships in the 480 B.C. conflict.
One of the things Michael said he likes best about his job, "I get to see movies before they open."
Indeed, he sees them early and as many times as he wants -- his dad Jack manages the Carmike Cinemas. Michael has grown up in movie houses, most recently getting to observe up close the Carmike renovations to stadium seating, DTS sound and digital projectors. On any given day, evenings and weekend included, there's a good chance you can catch up with Michael at the Carmike.
What everyone wants to know is "Michael's Movie-of-the-Year" pick. So far, it's "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End."