Employee's Lingo and the Interpretation:

"I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION:"

I've used Microsoft Office.

"I'M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE"

I pilfer office supplies.

"MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES"

I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had.

"I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK"

I blame others for my mistakes.

"I'M PERSONABLE"

I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co-workers.

"I'M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL"

I carry a Day-Timer.

"I AM ADAPTABLE"

I've changed jobs a lot.

"I AM ON THE GO"

I'm never at my desk.

"I'M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED"

The minute I find a better job, I'm outta there.